Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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