She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
