If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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