boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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