morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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