Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
