She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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