I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
