Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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