you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
