thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
