If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
