I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
