Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
