Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
