Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
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