Its about making memories worth repressing
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
