i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
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Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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