i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
