i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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