sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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