I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
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