You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
