how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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