I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
