Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
