Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
