my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
