Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
the liver wants what the liver wants
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
