i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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