Where are you?
In a non slutty way
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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