so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
