Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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