She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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