you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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