I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
and you fell through a lawn chair
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
false alarm, still single
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