I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
