maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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