I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
She needs sedatives and a leash
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
