Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
