I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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