what day is it and did you see me today?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
