turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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