Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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