well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
