what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
