My boss' voice literally gives me gas
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
