i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
