Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Less talking, more tequila
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
