nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
