do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
