the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
