Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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