but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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