Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
this just has baby written all over it
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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