I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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