My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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