So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
